Go HERE to read my interview. (http://phonesexblog.niteflirt.com/get-to-k
Also, prepare for some erotic eye candy to be released within the next month. Hotness like you’ve never seen it!
OH, and if you recently has any kind of transaction with me via Niteflirt, please go HERE to leave words of praise and 5-stars or thumbs-up!
Above everything else, my audio files are my lifeblood. I put my soul into each one of them, as if each one is a full music album. And regardless of whether I am taking calls or getting tributes, there is always a steady trickle of MP3 purchases that financially sustain me. Many people say I am fortunate, or “lucky,” because of my job. And in part, that might be true. I mean, I was just born with some of the qualities that make this work for me, and life experiences beyond my control contributed to my growth in the right direction.
But it has also been a lot of work; not only throughout my life, as I studied design, and language, and sexuality, but as I spent year after year at home, making erotic hypnosis files and taking calls, creating websites and establishing my name. I had a strong drive to do this, so I have no regrets. But I definitely put my social life and other interests on the back burner as I focused on making a living through erotic work online. I’ve been doing this stuff for over a decade now, and I am at the point where I don’t have to do nearly as much as I used to in order to make a living. My work is well-known and enjoyed, so there are always customers buying my downloads and ready to spend $4.99 per minute for a phone session. Even random tributes are a regular occurrence. Money for nothing and my chicks for free.
I still put my all into phone sessions. And I come out with a new audio file maybe every few months, or longer. Because I have very high standards for what I put out there anymore, and every few months is generally the amount of time it takes to get the right idea brewing and become inspired enough to create something exceptional. There is still work to do, almost a bit every day. But a lot of it is marketing and keeping my fans and customers interested. Which is as much fun as it is “work.”
I’m forever grateful to those who have seen the quality in what I do, and who keep coming back for more. I mean, I know I am special, and I know that what I create is exceptional. But what would it all mean if nobody else saw it? Not much, especially since other people are the ones who make it possible for me to pay bills, travel, and enjoy life in the way that only financial currency makes possible. Sometimes I just want to shout out a huge “thank you” to everyone who loves my work. And so here it is. Thank you for making it possible for me to create, and to express myself. The darkest, most perverted parts of myself that society generally wouldn’t except are appreciated and understood by so many. Thanks for making it so I can be my own boss, answering to nobody, always feeling in control of my own path. Taking vacations whenever I like, sleeping in til whatever hour, and never worrying about how I am going to afford something I need or desire. You have good taste in erotic entertainment, and in Goddesses. Just know I appreciate it.
- Current Mood: grateful
I’ve been in all types of relationships with all kinds of spoken and non-spoken rules. I think rules are important; boundaries. But I also understand that each individual is different, and what works for me might not work for the next person. Most people in our culture prefer monogamy, or at least that’s what they like to call it. They prefer pretending they don’t cheat, and pretending they never desire anyone else other than their exclusive partner. And that is not to say there aren’t couples who actually do not cheat and truly desire only each other. I just find that after years of being with one partner, crushes happen. No matter how much I adore and am turned on by my partner, both he and I will also come across other individuals who we find mentally and physically attractive, who reciprocate those feelings. But the rule of monogamy states that we can’t do anything about it.
I understand jealousy, I am not immune to it. I understand wanting to possess someone I love, and I even understand wanting to be possessed. But look at life; it’s long. Most traditional, monogamous couples I’ve known stop having sex after a decade or so. So then that’s it? No sex ever again? Honey I am going to be doing it when I’m 80, assuming I live that long. Sex and physical intimacy are beautiful things, and I can’t imagine ever being deprived of giving and receiving both on a consistent basis.
The thing about polyamory is that everyone makes their own rules. Some people have a primary partner, and then other relationships on the side. Other poly people do not like to categorize their relationships, or put one of their lovers above the other, because they are all equally important. There are poly triads, poly households, mono-poly relationships… there is basically a limitless variety of ways for multiple interpersonal relationships to form. And I have learned that communication, negotiation, compromise, and trust are some of the most important factors in any relationship. Not communicating leads to resentment, and as the saying goes, holding on to resentment is like “drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”
How could I deprive my lovers or myself of the beautiful things we could experience through being intimate with others? There are things he can learn from her that he couldn’t from me. There are experiences I could have with her that I couldn’t have with him. We could be missing out on so much growth by limiting ourselves to intimacy with only one person for the entire rest of our lives. Just because of jealousy and fear, would I say “no” to my partner's growth and enjoyment? With enough reassurance, jealousy and fear are pretty easily trumped by the sense of compersion I get through knowing my loved one is happy, even if it is in part because of another woman’s affection.
What I want at this point in my life is an open relationship. I do want a primary partner, because I like the stability of having a person I know I can always go to first, who can always come to me, first. I like knowing who I am going to spend the holidays with. I don’t like things to be overly chaotic. But I also do not want to deprive myself or my partner(s) of experience, learning, and enjoyment. And that’s what other people give.
So, I recently was informed that an ex-lover of mine hung himself. He was someone who had a profound impact on my life, during the short time we were together. He was what I call "a force of nature," and a lot of people were attracted to him. I've written poems, and even a story about this guy. Made all kinds of art about him. Because he was inspiring as all of heck. He didn't care about consequences, or about reality in general. He was straight out of a fiction novel, or some mystical work of art. Which is why I knew I could never really be with him.
Recently, a friend and I tried to contact him on a ouija board. None of the spirits were being cooperative, or maybe our subconscious minds were in a dull state, leaving our ideomotor responses with nowhere to go. Eventually I called for him by name, and in return the planchette spelled out the word "BICH." He was a really good writer when he was alive, so I guess he just thought I didn't deserve the "T."
Suicide. I remember when Kurt Cobain did it. I was very young, and I remember feeling very strongly about suicide being a selfish act, meant for inconsiderate cowards. Leaving his family and loved ones to suffer, because he was having a hard time. Yeah, life can suck hard, but what a cop out. What a pussy. I felt bad for his family, and not for him. I didn't glorify people who committed suicide, I just thought they were too weak for this world, and that it was somehow their fault.
Well my opinion has changed a lot since then. I've known people who committed suicide, and have been very close with several people who have attempted it. And it seems that a very high percentage of the western population has at least pondered it, and maybe still ponder it often. Gosh, there are people I am extremely close with who I don't doubt will eventually do it. But I don't go out of my way to stop them. I won't. Because, ironically enough, I think that suicide is one of the "happier" ways to die.
Think about it: it is the only way to die in which one chooses the way it's done. Is it somehow better for a person to die of cancer, or any other disease that slowly eats away at the body and mind? Maybe some people don't want to grow old. Maybe they really are suffering terribly here on earth, and want it all to be over with. Some people just want to write The End to their own story. And now, I see that as something that's just fine. Yes, I will miss my loved ones when they die, but that will be the case no matter how their lives are finalized. How selfish would I be to command a suffering person to suffer for decades longer than they need to, just so I don't have to deal with the fact that they committed suicide?
I think suicide should be legal. I always thought it was stupid for it to be illegal, as if the authorities are going to put the corpse in jail. I think that suicides should be done neatly, and with care. They should be meticulously well-planned. First of all, it is important to keep in mind that if one has money put away, and his death is deemed a suicide, that money is taken away, and nobody gets it. I think this is the case even if a will is left. So the smart thing to do would be to close out all financial accounts, and put the money where one wants it (like giving it to loves ones, or donating to a charity). I mean why waste the money.
Next, I think it is just considerate and polite to not leave family and friends with any kind of mess to clean up. Make sure credit has been paid off; it's not nice to leave others to deal with any kind of financial debt. And commit suicide in a way that is as easy as possible to clean up. If it's done in a hotel room, think of the person on the other side of the wall. Nobody wants your bloodied bullet landing in their cheese and fruit plate. And remember that not all suicides work; some could leave you as a vegetable that others will have to care for. So it is probably a good idea to research in depth first, and be as certain as possible that your method will work. Or have a few methods going on at once (e.g., take a few bottles of pills and then asphyxiate as you shoot yourself).
I do believe that before an individual commits suicide, all other routes for improving one's life and staying on board should be attempted. Therapy, psychiatric meds, the support of friends, and just holding on to a glimmer of hope that things will get better and your life is worth something, at least to someone, even if it's just an iguana or a degu. I highly recommend doing whatever it takes to stick around; it is NOT always as hopeless as it seems. I'm also just saying that I don't think it's such a bad idea to write The End to one's own story, most especially if the individual has already lived a long life, and also especially if the individual is terminally ill. If a person has tried and tried and tried to live a life worth living, and is still considerably and consistently miserable, well I say more power to them if they want to GTFO.
I tweeted today the following:
I expect to be placed on a pedestal, to be treated as a Goddess, by any and all men who are to be a significant part of my life. In case there was ever a question. It’s just how I am. And I know there are more than enough men who want to treat me as such.
Of course, we all know I am on online Domme, and that I create erotic material for submissive males, suggesting they submit to me, adore me, serve me, and even worship me. I do phone sessions on the same topics. Some of you may know that I also have been involved in my local kink scenes ever since I was of age. I’ve had submissives serve me in person, and have had one long-term relationship with a real time collared slave.
Over the years, I’ve swayed back and forth when it comes to how I’ve labeled myself, and how I’ve identified my sexuality. My likes and dislikes are generally in flux; after all, we are always changing. But I have come to realize that whether I am into men, women, or both, whether I am monogamous or polyamorous, and whether I am topping or bottoming in a kink scene, I am a Femdom Goddess, and demand to be treated as such.
This doesn’t mean I hate men, or see all men as inferior, or that I expect one-sided service and devotion in my relations with all men. I am just as capable of putting a loved one on a pedestal as I am of being placed on one. I can be very giving, most especially with my passion, affection, sexuality, and friendship. But above all, I will NOT allow myself to become intimate with a man who does not constantly treat me like I am one of the most beautiful, amazing people who has ever entered his life, and that he has such immense gratitude for my presence in his life that he never ceases to find new ways to please and honor me.
That is the only type of man I care to hold on to. The rest can find women who are content with being treated as if they are anything less than pure, unexplainable magick.
I am the one who leads the relationship. I make the rules. Yes, your opinion matters, and is taken into consideration, but my word is final. And if you want me close to you, because what I offer is so beautiful you know how badly it would suck to be without me, then you will do what’s best for us all: follow my lead, keep me on my pedestal, and treat me as a Goddess. Want me with the burning desire of a thousand men, because there are at least that many who would jump at the chance to touch me.
Small Penis Traumatization
Emotional manipulation leading to irreversible psychological mortification in regards to your small penis via your immensely sadistic and bratty college crush.
Do you have a small penis? If so, you need to be psychologically destroyed, and I am just the girl to do this to you. You see, I believe that "men" who have small penises are genetically inferior and should never be able to reproduce. It is basically my goal to fuck your head up permanently, so that you will have zero confidence in yourself and will be constantly focused on what a joke you are for having been cursed with a small penis.
The thing is, I am so good at emotionally fucking up men that you will never see it coming. The manipulative tactics I skillfully employ will get you to open up to me fully on a psychological level, which, in turn, will allow me to scar you more deeply and completely. What begins as a flirtatious curiosity becomes a cruel mockery, and eventually turns into completely devastating ego-shred. I will take much joy in your tears, and being that I am your current crush at college, at least you get to provide that.
The mental anguish with which you will suffer for the rest of your life begins tonight at a party we are both attending. I'll be on the lookout for you, and you won't even know what's coming until it's way too late *kiss*
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